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'I DIDN'T HAVE THE BALL, B*TCH!!!!' TIPS APPRECIATED!!! |
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TOP STORIES - MAY 29, 2006 Get your NFL football tickets now at TickCo. They have all team Cardinals tickets, Cowboys tickets, Packers tickets, Colts tickets, Patriots tickets, Titans tickets and more. Get your Super Bowl tickets here!  2006 NFL DRAFT PROFILESBUMMER - BARRY GOES YARD: There was the final game of the Giants homestand. Had Bonds not gone deep today, the quest for #715 would had taken him to Florida, where history could have occurred before countless dozens of fans, which may had been fitting. After that would had been a trip to New York which would had been the ultimate three-ring circus. And if Bonds went homerless there perhaps he could then make good on his 'threat' of jumping off the Empire State Building. Only one problem, Byung-Hyun Kim was pitching for the opposing Rockies - now I'm wondering why I didn't pick Barry for the homer pool. Kim already has those World Series homers he gave up in 2001, so giving up #715 is nothing to him - he was as destined to give that up as Eric Show was to serve 4192 to Pete Rose. But I can't be too hard on BHK, who was pitching with a six run lead at the time and wound up with the win - I think he can live with it. ANNOUNCERS MIKE GOES DEAD!!! Once again, karma is an absolutely incredible phenomenom. The microphone of KNBR announcer Dave Flemming cuts out literally as Bonds home run was heading out of the park. All listeners at home could hear was the foghorn and the crowd noise. Partner Greg Papa (Raiders play-by-play man who is on Giants games when Jon Miller has an ESPN assignment) had to grab a backup mike and explained what had happened. You can only wonder what Larry Krueger, who got fired from KNBR last year for comments after a Giants loss to the Rockies, thought of all of that. CRAIG HEYWARD DEAD AT 39: Unfortunately, Ironhead had something else much more serious in his noggin, as Heyward battled a recurring brain tumor which caused him to retire after an 11 year career in 1998. In recent months, Heyward lost his sight as well as his hearing. Heyward first made headlines as an oversized battering ram at the University of Pittsburgh, where he ranks third in career yards. Heyward went on to become a 1,000 yard rusher with the Falcons in 1995, and used his popularity to star in a commercial for Zest soap. Heyward's son is a 6'7" 280 lb defensive end who is considered one of the country's best prep prospects.ANOTHER GREAT WEEKEND IN SOUTH BEACH!!! NBA star Gilbert Arenas and teammate arrested for disobeying police. Arenas' buddy was arrested first, then Gilbert came out and said 'You can't arrest me - I play for the Washington Wizards!!!' STEELERS FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK ARRESTED: Former Ohio State receiver Santonio Holmes arrested for disorderly conduct at South Beach hotel. FUTURES TOUR GOLFER REAPS REWARDS OF 'BIG BREAK': Ashley Prange outlasted ten other competitors on the Golf Channel's Big Break V. Prizes included an equipment contract and all expenses paid for all LPGA Future Tour events for the remainder of the 2006 season. It's said Prange has gotten some 'negative reaction' to her fiery temperment which was displayed on the popular reality series. Prange majored in journalism, advertising, and sports marketing at the University of North Carolina. WHAT IS IT WITH THE BUSCH'S AND TRAFFIC INCIDENTS??? It just seems like one of the two are involved in some non-track traffic matter every week. Sources are saying that Kurt Busch 'allegedly accidentally' brushed a parking lot attendant with his personal vehicle at Lowe's Motor Speedway Friday night. The report says Busch refused comment on the matter for most of the day on Saturday, before a statement released determined the mater to be a 'non-event'. MICHAEL WALTRIP TAKING HEAT: Having a horrible year and running outside the top-35 in points, Waltrip failed to qualify for the Coca-Cola 600. However Waltrip will be in the race after buying a spot from another driver who did qualify. Waltrip will be driving under his usual NAPA sponsorship, but the owner points will go to the #74 team whose car was originally scheduled to be raced by Derrike CopeJOURNEYMAN CATCHER GETS FAN CLUB: Sal Fasano recently sent pizzas up to his 18-person fan club which was stationed in the upper reaches of Citizen's Bank Park. The group also granted an in-game interview to FSN North this weekend, which was televising the Phillies game v. the Brewers back to the Milwaukee market. Sal also recently talked about getting a recent foul-tip in a really bad area, saying 'I'm done having kids, so I'm not worried. Or if I wasn't done, I am now.' Fasano also made the highlights last week with a textbook block of home plate as the Brewers J.J. Hardy was attempting to score. Fasano returned to the majors just last year after a three year absense. WATERED DOWN BELMONT: Not only will the field be missing both the Kentucky Derby and Preakness winners, but it is possible that not one horse will end up participating in all three Triple Crown races. The NBC ratings will still beat the NHL however. EVEREST CLIMBER LEFT FOR DEAD MAKES IT BACK TO CAMP: In what's called an astonishing feat of survival, a mountaineer left for dead by his collegues shortly after reaching the summit of Mt. Everest has been found alive, unexpectedly walking back to base camp in 'reasonably good' condition. In a separate incident last week, a British climber died on Everest after being passed by up to 40 fellow climbers who apparently chose not to risk their own ascents. Sir Edmund Hillary joined in a 'raging controversy' over that climbers death, sharply criticising those who left him to die. HERE WE GO AGAIN, ROYALS STREAK UP TO 13: Didn't they just get done losing 19 straight late last year??? And here's the great news, KC's home stand is over - now comes a nice 10-game road trip to New York, Oakland, and Seattle. The Royals are a nice 2-20 on the road. Can you say 23-game losing streak??? Also, at 10-35, the Royals have the second worst record of any team after 45 games in the last 70 years. NHL OUTDRAWN BY A TEST PATTERN??? Maybe not, but everything else is outdrawing the telecasts of it - and I mean everything. JAKE PLUMMER ROAD RAGE: I'd say Plummer has plenty much established his M-O over the years, he blows up once in a while. Not that big a deal, slow poke in the left hand lane, we've all been there. Where I have to call out Jake is his excuse that he was in a hurry to give a check to charity. Come on, just tell us the truth - he had to make Happy Hour, or even the lunch buffet - or something else is about to close up on him. I'm sure people will gladly accept his checks 24/7. And Plummer is not the only one, Kurt Warner played the charity function card to get out of a speeding ticket a few years back. RUEBEN DROUGHNS BACK IN LEGAL TROUBLE: Drew Rosenhaus client had just beaten a DUI rap, now faces a domestic violence charge. UPDATE - 'HE THREW HER OUT': I guess she had just asked for a divorce, imagine Droughns and Ahman Green are comparing notes and playing a few games of Madden as I speak. PHOTO OF THE DAY (horse gets the ladies): Make no mistake, Barbaro still faces a long road to recovery - and is not out of the woods by any means. Also, as I said the other day, a lesser horse would not have made it out of Pilmico alive with a similar injury (potential stud fee v. cost of surgery/care). That said, Barbaro's life doesn't see to be THAT bad right now. Look at this picture from the (not sure if it's Barbaro) Penn Veterinary Medicine website. Some nice looking college-age women and even some time with the 'ol PC (about as much as I get). There was also a report that after the surgery Barbaro found some mares to 'nicker' with in adjacent stalls. Female humans, female horses - that's Barbaro's biggest risk right now, that he doesn't rip that cast apart getting too excited. For more on Barbaro's recovery, check out the Penn Veterinary Medicine website.NASCAR HOPEFUL KILLED IN ROLLOVER TRUCK CRASH: 19 year-old NASCAR prospect Spencer Clark one of two killed in a single-vehicle crash on Interstate 40 in New Mexico. Authorities said Clark was not wearing a seat belt and both drivers were ejected from the vehicle. Also dead is 28 year-old Andrew Phillips, a crewman for Clark's race team who was also an all-conference offensive lineman for the University of Hawaii. Clark had been racing in regional racing series and also had made his Busch Series debut earlier this season. FROM GREEN MONSTER TO GREEN FLAG FOR GREENWELL: Ex-Red Sox star Mike Greenwell to make NASCAR Truck Series debut. Despite being a career .300 plus hitter, Greenwell retired relatively early, playing his last game at age 33 ten years ago. Despite getting offers to play the following year, Greenwell decided to pursue his racing dreams, and has been riding in late model series since. TONY STEWART, MATT KENSETH AT IT AGAIN: Stewart goes after Kenseth Crew Chief Robbie Reiser after All-Star race crash.A.J. THE J.A. DAY THREE: BUZZZZZZ....BUZZZZZZZ....BUZZZZZZ.....BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP..... The National Weather Service as issued an A.J. Pierzynski Crapstorm Warning for Southern Cook County. A.J. Pierzynski has been spotted in the southern metro Chicago area, and should be treated with caution. AJP has a history of strong verbal winds along with torrential bench clearing brawls. If you see this storm barreling down the third base line, please seek shelter. The southwest corner of your basement would be idea, if caught outside - lie in a ditch or any other depression - or just put your hands over your head and pray. Do not try to film any footage of Pierzynski, if you happen to be a catcher for the Cubs please get out of the way. If the pitcher has just struck A.J. out - please be sure to tag him out in case the ball hit the ground - but not too hard. By the way, J.A. did not dissapoint making the radio rounds on Monday, claiming that he was personally honoring his family stealing Zambrano's gimmick on Sunday, and he's not happy with seeing his wife and daughter taking the heat along with him. We're not hammering on the man's wife, we're not hammering on his kid neither - we're ripping on the player himself. If you believe him, then J.A. Pierzynski Honda (or name your favorite auto make) should be opening up somewhere in Northwest Indiana any day now. End of weather statement. BUZZ...BUZZ...BUZZ... CALM AFTER THE STORM?? NOT QUITE: At least not when you throw the volitile Carlos Zambrano into the mix and have him throw a gopher ball to White Sox catcher A-Hole Pierzynski. After rounding the bases, A-Hole copies Zambrano's gimmick of pounding his chest and pointing to the sky. There was also a conversation between A-Hole and Michael Barrett during the game as well - perhaps negotiating their pay-per-view wrestling match as soon as the season ends. The media tried to ask afterwards, A-Hole replied 'None of your business what was said' Meanwhile Barrett said after the game that he expected the boos, and was just glad none of Comiskey Crazies ran onto the field to attack him. And then there's Sox manager Ozzie Guillen - who went off on an expletive-filled tirade towards Cubs pitcher Rich Hill, who described A-Hole running over Barrett as 'gutless' and 'pathetic'. Of what can be printed, Guillen said 'What's the guys name?? He should be in Triple-A (where he was sent after the game). He's going to make Dusty Baker get fired (he and 25 other guys). Shut Up. When you make a comment that was a cheap shot, you don't know the game'  BUD CHOKESLAMS EX-GOV DURING BROADCAST: The image you see at the left was from a site that was known as nocontraction.com, which existed when baseball was considering jettising the Twins and Expos franchises. The longterm future of baseball in the Twin Cities was finally secured when lawmakers approved a plan for a $522 million stadium early Sunday morning. In an interview which aired during the Twins-Brewers game on the Brewers Radio Network Sunday, Selig said that three of the four governors during the decade-plus long negotiating process were very corporative - Selig added that in a session he attended when Ventura was in office, he asked him what it would take to get him on board with a Stadium deal (sounds like something a car salesman would ask) - and said that Ventura just stared at him without saying a word. Selig added that he's very happy with interleague attendance over the weekend, although he added that things got 'more intense' in Chicago than what he would had liked. As far as the Twins Cities situation is concerned, a new football facility for University of Minnesota football is also said to be now approved. By the way, the baseball stadium will be open-air, wonder if fans can get back into bundling up for games??? $522 mill for a crib without a roof - Miller Park almost sounds like a bargain now.TRIPLE CROWN CONTENDER MAY HAVE TO BE PUT DOWN: Barbaro goes from TC threat to battling for his own survival after breaking his leg above and below the ankle seconds into the second leg of the Triple Crown, in which Barbaro was heavily favored. A crowd of 118,000 watched in shock as jockey Edgar Prado pulled the strapping horse to a stop and jumped off as the race went on - with few in the crowd caring. Vets are calling the injury 'life-threatening' and add that a human would be laid up in bed for six weeks with a similar break. I'm guessing this is a case when a lesser horse would be put down, but Barbaro would still be worth lots of $$$$ as a stud - thus he was transported to a first-class equine facility for surgery. The horses racing career is obviously over.  WRESTLING STORYLINE BEHIND CHICAGO BRAWL??? While railing on Dusty Baker last weekend, I neglected to mention that at least catcher Michael Barrett has a pulse. Last Friday he wanted to drop the gloves with San Diego's Dave Roberts moments after he stole third base on him. Turns out that a few days earlier Roberts bordered on violating a dreaded 'unwritten rule', bunting for a hit, then stealing second base in a game the Padres were winning by four runs in the eighth inning. Which leads us to Saturday on Chicago's South Side, when Barrett lived out the dreams of many players in the majors - smacking big-mouthed White Sox catcher A-Hole (I meant A.J.) Pierzynski right square on the jaw. The incident occurred moments after A-Hole tried to bowl over Barrett in a home plate collision. The best part is Pierzynski doesn't immediately retaliate, stumbling around while teammate Scott Podsednik (who again I will say is one of the true pros in the game) took up the fight on Barrett as the benches cleared. A little background on Barrett, he bulked up considerably while playing for the Expos a few years back, under the guidence of Dale 'Demon' Torborg - the son of then-manager Jeff Torborg, who just happened to also be a well-known WCW wrestler. It's also been said that Barrett has been trained in a form of Brazilian boxing by the 'famous' Andrew Franchi and Ricky Malek. Barrett also had a little history with Astros pitcher Roy Oswalt during the middle of a playoff race two years ago. Obviously, Barrett goes in the 'likes to fight' category. (PHOTOS) 2005 - DALE TORBORG, PIERZYNSKI APPEAR ON WRESTLING SHOW: I kid you not. Wrestler mocks Torborg and A-Hole's .256 career average, leading to a brawl. This leads to Torborg and Pierzynski appearing in an ensuing pay-per-view, which also featured a cameo by Johnny Damon. So don't be surprised to see Barrett and A-Hole settle their differences on a wrestling show near you this coming winter. By the way, Torborg now happens to work in the White Sox organization.JOEY BELLE BACK IN JAIL: Still will not leave that lady alone. MANCHESTER UNITED FANS CELEBRATING??? Glad arch-rival Arsenal lost??? No, Malcolm Glazer suffers a second stroke - yeah, you know they would be sick enough to cheer that. The reclusive typhoon is said to be at Florida's Cleveland Clinic, except there are two in that state. The official line is that the 77-year old Glazer's rehab will not be more lengthy and challanging. I guess one more would put him in the Arial Sharon category. BUBBA WATSON IN COLONIAL MIX: Long-driver made news, actually his caddie made news last week, after Bubba was forced to withdraw after the caddie (and his clubs) was a no-show for the early tee time. There have been conflicting reports on what exactly happened to the caddie, except that he was slightly injured in a car accident the night before. A family friend is on the bags this week, Bubba doesn't sound too upset about last week but says he is undecided on whether the regular caddie will return. Just remember, 14 clubs and when you're mans tee-time is. |
2003 NFL DRAFT PROFILES
